The Angels' Castle
by contrite shadow
Summary: It appears that Castle brought one more souvenir back from Andorra. Plus my take on "To Love and Die in L.A.".


Original Characters:

Marcel: Andorran chopper pilot.

Clair: Castle's ex.

* * *

Author's note: Okay, just one more before I go on vacation. Much thanks to _lacy curtains_ for volunteering to be my beta reader. I would have settled for intelligence and efficiency, but I'm forced to endure her kindness and humor as well.

* * *

The Angels' Castle

Monday morning, having already set up a time, Beckett arrives outside Castle's apartment to pick him up on the way to the precinct. Surprised that he's not waiting, she gives it a few minutes and then calls him, but there's no answer. Cursing his tardiness, she eventually finds a parking space and heads inside. The doorman greets her by name and Beckett says, "Has Rick Castle already left?"

"No, ma'am. Problem?"

"No, I'm sure it's fine, thanks."

Only when Beckett knocks on the door and there's no answer, does she begin to worry, even though there's no sign of forced entry. Always mindful of not disturbing his family, Beckett hesitates a second before ringing the doorbell. Finally, she hears movement inside and breathes a sigh of relief. Castle opens the door and she's about to greet him, but is shocked into silence at the sight of him; still in his pajamas, blanket draped around his shoulders, his usual healthy tan replaced by a sickly pallor and his unkempt hair plastered to his forehead by the sheen of sweat suffusing his flesh. Just in case Beckett has any doubt that he's very ill, Castle barks a painful sounding cough and then pathetically croaks, "Kate, I think I'm dying….even my hair hurts."

Without waiting for her reply, he steps aside to let her in and then kind of slides down the wall to sit on the floor. Beckett squats beside him and says, "You're not dying, Castle. You just have the flu." She reaches a hand towards his forehead, but hasn't even touched his skin before she feels the heat coming from him and his breathing sounds labored, so she says, "You are, however, quite ill." And then she realizes that there's no way his family would let him look after himself in this condition and says, "Where are Martha and Alexis?"

As if remembering she's here, he refocuses on her and says, "Huh? Oh, Alexis…spring break. She's helping Meredith chew through my alimony payments. Mother is…nope, sorry, it's gone. Oh, wait; a play! They're touring." And then he frowns in confusion and says, "Why are you here on a Sunday?"

"It's Monday, Castle. Does your doctor make house calls?" When he nods, she says, "Phone?"

Castle coughs again and spits whatever was produced into the wad of tissues in his hand as he motions to his bedroom. Beckett isn't surprised to find that his phone is completely dead. By the time she's hooked it up to power, Castle has entered and sits on the bed as he says, "It's under _Doc_; the Bugs Bunny icon."

At first confused, Beckett then says, "_What's up, doc_?"

He nods and then says, "Oh, but he answers to _Drummond_."

Beckett dials the number, arranges a consultation and then sets the phone to charge beside his bed before she says, "He'll be here as soon as he can. Time for you to get into bed."

Confirming that he really is quite unwell, Castle meekly does as she says without any attempt at innuendo. When Beckett heads for the door, he rasps, "You're leaving?"

"Back in a sec." Beckett soon returns with a bottle of water, cracks the seal and puts it beside his bed, along with a couple of Tylenol and then says, "Okay, Castle. Stay put and wait for the doctor. I'll check on you later."

As if forgetting that he said it only seconds ago, Castle says, "You're leaving?"

Despite feeling genuinely moved by his plight, Beckett says, "Cop, not nurse, Castle. You'll be fine." She motions to his phone and says, "There're a lot of alerts. It'll take you all day to go through them." And then she says, "Oh, but you'd probably better not reply to anything, until you at least know what day it is."

Sounding a little lost, Castle says, "Okay, thanks."

His plaintive tone almost sways her, but the very fact that she so wants to stay and take care of him triggers that oh-so-familiar panic at the thought of becoming too intimate. Instead, her voice softer, she says, "Please stay here and wait for the doctor, okay?"

Castle offers a pale imitation of his normal grin and says, "Yes, sir."

* * *

Considering that no one was murdered in the precinct while Beckett was away, she and the guys have a pretty easy morning, going through cold cases and catching up on paperwork. When an unfamiliar number calls her cell, she answers, "Beckett."

"Detective Beckett? It's Lisa, from Doctor Drummond's office; we spoke earlier. The doctor asked me to inform you that Richard Castle has been admitted to Lenox Hill Hospital."

Shocked, Beckett takes a moment to process the words and then says, "I thought he just had the flu? What's wrong with him?"

"Uh, he was admitted with acute respiratory distress. I'm afraid that's all the information I have."

When Beckett ends the call, the guys are staring at her, so she explains the situation even as she's putting on her jacket and then says, "Tell the captain, will you?"

"Can do."

"Call us when you know more."

Resisting the urge to drive uptown with lights flashing and siren blaring, Beckett still makes good time. Being one of Castle's emergency contacts, she has no trouble getting in to see him. She's composing her apology as she approaches his room, but he's sleeping when she enters. Castle has an oxygen tube under his nose and an IV tube attached to one arm and her heart aches at how…wrong it looks for him to seem so fragile. It's a private room and no one is about, so Beckett checks his chart and two things jump out at her; _double pneumonia_ and _H5N1_. Just then, Castle says, "You're not my doctor."

Despite an ocean of guilt washing over her, Beckett manages a weak smile and says, "Hey, Castle." And then she says, "You have bird flu?"

He touches the still evident scratch on his forehead that he acquired during the bird strike and says, "At least we know what hit me…and why we were attacked by a kamikaze hawk."

Suddenly feeling an almost overwhelming need to cry, Beckett says, "God, Castle, I'm so sorry."

Confused, he says, "Hardly your fault, Beckett."

"No, I mean…I left you."

Castle reaches one hand towards her for a second, as if in comfort and then says, "Hey, you weren't to know. Like you said; cop, not nurse. And I wasn't even with it enough to think of calling the doc, so you've probably saved my life. I've never seen Drummond look scared before today. Apparently, he was worried that my lungs might collapse."

"But you're going to be okay?"

Already a little out of breath from the effort of talking, Castle says, "So they say, and I'm paying them a fortune to know such things."

After an audible sigh of relief, Beckett says, "Martha and Alexis know?"

"Yeah. They'll be here tonight."

"Okay, just get some rest, Castle."

Disappointed that she's already leaving, Castle simply nods and says, "Okay. I'll see you soon. Thanks, for visiting me."

His resigned acceptance actually makes her throat hurt with the effort of not crying and she sits in the armchair by his bed as she says, "I'm not going anywhere, Castle. But you still need to rest."

Castle smiles his gratitude and says, "Yes, sir."

His sleepy gaze is still on her a few minutes later when Beckett exclaims, "Marcel!"

"He's fine. They caught it soon enough with him. Most of those alerts on my phone were from Joseph, trying to warn me." And then Castle smiles and says, "A little too late, as it happens."

Satisfied that Marcel is okay, Beckett says, "Okay, rest."

This time Castle only smiles and closes his eyes. Much later, Beckett is still by his side when a nurse enters and hooks him up to a nebulizer. When the nurse leaves for a few minutes, Castle says, from under the mask, "I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan."

Beckett's smile is pure joy that he's well enough to joke again and then she says, "You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

Castle coughs in surprise and then lifts the mask away for a second to say, "I believe you."

And Beckett is still there, hours later, when first Martha and then Alexis arrives. Of course, after their enthusiastic greeting, she has to endure more guilt when Castle's family thanks her for staying with him. Even Josh stops by, with a car magazine for Castle and one on fashion for Beckett. He greets everyone, checks Castle's chart and IV, reassures them that Castle is receiving the best care possible and then excuses himself to head for work. Touched that he obviously knows she'll be staying and doesn't seem to mind, Beckett says, "Call me when you get home?"

Josh smiles and says, "I always do."

When Josh is gone, Martha and Alexis comment favorably on his behavior, and Martha on his looks, embarrassing both Beckett and Castle. After a few minutes of chatting, they're once again quiet, because even chatting is enough exertion to make Castle break out in a sweat. Martha and Alexis head for the gift shop, to get their own reading material. Beckett is flicking through the fashion magazine when Castle silently offers to swap. Grateful for the consideration, she has a lot to think about when she realizes what it means; that Castle probably knows her better than anyone has since her mother died. Even her father's love has always been filtered slightly through rose-colored glasses, but her mother knew exactly who her daughter was and accepted her anyway. She's been staring at the same page for quite a while when Castle says, "You okay?"

Whether it's the fact that he cares about her wellbeing when he's so very ill, or that the damage to his lungs is audible as he speaks, or her own tortured thoughts, something proves too much for Beckett and the tears finally fall as she says, "Castle…"

Hardly her most eloquent moment, but it's enough and Castle again stretches out one hand towards her. All her defenses gone, Beckett leans forward and takes his hand in both of hers and then, answering some instinctive need, holds his hand to the side of her face. Castle smiles and then gently says, "Why are you only ever vulnerable when I'm in no condition to do anything about it?"

Beckett smiles and lowers his hand to the bed, but keeps hold of it as she says, "I don't trust you."

Smiling at the blatant falsehood, Castle knows full well that it's herself she doesn't trust, so he also lies, "Yeah, well things will be different when I can get out of this bed." Just then they both hear Martha and Alexis returning and Beckett sits back, releasing Castle's hand to wipe away the few tears. Suddenly bereft of her touch, Castle tenderly says, "Thank you, Kate."

With her usual insight, Martha senses something has passed between Beckett and Castle. She raises one eyebrow at her son and he almost imperceptibly shakes his head, so she says nothing and relaxes in one of the chairs around his bed. Beckett is still by Castle's side, having resisted his efforts to make her leave for some rest, when Josh calls and says, "How's he doing?"

Having guessed who must be calling her in the middle of the night, Castle holds out his hand for the phone and Beckett says to Josh, "Uh, looks like he wants to tell you himself."

Castle greets Josh with, "Can you please come and collect her? She won't listen to me."

Josh laughs and says, "If you think I can make Kate do anything, then you're still suffering from delirium."

Castle tries to laugh, but coughs instead and then says, "Well, it was worth a shot."

Serious now, Josh says, "You need to rest. Can I talk to Kate?"

Castle hands over the phone as he says, "Oh, you are in so much trouble."

Not wanting to give Castle the satisfaction of hearing her conversation, Beckett leaves the room to talk to Josh. The moment Beckett is through the door, Martha says, "Well?"

At first confused, Castle then says, "She just got a little emotional and didn't want you to see it."

"But she let you see it?" When Castle smiles and nods, Martha says, "Sounds like progress to me."

Castle smile widens and then he says, "To me, as well."

Just then Beckett returns and says, "Okay, Castle, I'm gonna go; doctor's orders." And then says to Martha, "He's in the right place and we're only keeping him from resting. I can give you a ride?"

Martha nods once and says, "You're right." She and Alexis say their goodbyes and follow Beckett to her car, Martha with her arm around Alexis. On the way, Martha says, "Thank you, Kate, for being here when we couldn't. It only seemed like he had a cold on Saturday, or I would never have left him."

Beckett shrugs and says, "It's okay, Martha. I saw him this morning and had no idea he was that ill." She smiles a little and says, "He's so prone to hyperbole it never even occurred to me that he wasn't exaggerating."

Martha laughs and says, "He was the same even as a child; turning every sniffle into the plague. But the first time he truly needed medical attention I didn't find out about his fractured arm for two days, because he hadn't complained once about the pain."

* * *

The traffic is light enough that they're soon outside Castle's apartment. Martha and Alexis thank Beckett yet again before leaving the car. Beckett watches until they're inside the building and then heads for home. She knows that Josh will be busy by now, so only sends him a text to say that she's arrived. Now exhausted, she quickly gets ready for bed, but still can't sleep. Finally honest enough to admit what's really bothering her, the tears flow all over again when it suddenly hits her how close she came to losing Castle. And all because she's so intent on keeping her distance from him. At this hour, there's only one person she can turn to and her father answers, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Dad…not with me, anyway. I'm sorry to call you so late, but…" When she trails off, Jim is wise enough to remain silent and she eventually says, "Castle's going to be okay, but he got real sick today and I left him like that, because…because I'm _terrified_ of caring too much for him." When her father still makes no comment, Beckett says, "Half the time he makes me mad enough to reach for my sidearm, but then he…how can a relationship that...dichotomous have any chance of working?"

Jim is quiet for a few seconds more and then says, "Did I ever tell you why I call your mother Jo_hanna_, when everyone else pronounces it Jo_anna_?"

Confused at the apparently random comment, Beckett says, "Uh, no. But I remember that it made her smile."

"Thank you, Katie." And then Jim says, "I call her Johanna, because it made her furious."

"What? No. She really liked that." And then the penny drops and Beckett says, "But she didn't always like it."

Jim laughs and says, "Not even a little bit. She'd get so mad that she'd almost turn blue, but there was nothing she could do about it and she'd always forgive me, eventually."

Still a little confused, Beckett says, "So, why did you want to make her angry?"

Jim laughs again and says, "Spectacular as her rages were, not even I wanted to make her angry. No, I started mispronouncing her name to remind her that nothing is perfect and not everything can be controlled." Beckett knows that he must be smiling when he says, "Sound like anyone you know?"

"So, you're saying that I'm not perfect? I already know that, Dad."

"Of course you know that, sweetheart, even though you sometimes forget not to expect perfection of yourself. But, no, I'm saying that sometimes dichotomy works…and that your quick temper and need to control every situation comes from your mother's side of the family."

Not yet ready to laugh, Beckett manages a smile and says, "Thanks, Dad. But how does this help me with my guilt over leaving Castle alone when he had pneumonia?"

"Pneumonia? Poor guy." And then Jim says, "Do you trust him, Katie?"

"Yeah, Dad, yeah I do."

"Then maybe it's time to prove it?"

The panic is rising as she says, "Prove it?"

"Just relax and trust him to do the right thing."

Relieved, Beckett says, "Oh, I'm already doing that…well, I'm working on it, anyway."

"Then I'd say that you're doing the best you can. You always do, despite being just as imperfect as the rest of us."

Finally feeling like she can breathe properly again, Beckett says, "Thanks, Dad. I think that I can sleep now."

"Thanks, for calling me. Sweet dreams, Katie."

Even though the guilt has eased a little, sleep still eludes Beckett. So she calls the hospital and finds that Castle's condition is steadily improving. But still, it's not enough. Cursing her weakness, Beckett angrily pulls on shoes and dons a coat over her pajamas before grabbing only her keys on the way out.

When Castle is next woken for his nebulizer treatment, he doesn't at first notice Beckett asleep in a chair in the far corner of his room. He lifts the mask away to whisper, "When did she get here?"

The nurse shrugs and, equally quietly, says, "She was here when I started my shift." Curious about the fact that someone cares enough to visit him in the early hours of the morning, but then chooses to put distance between them, she says, "Friend of yours?"

Castle's brilliant smile gives the words so much more meaning when he says, "My best friend."

When the treatment is finished, Castle positions his body so that he can comfortably keep his gaze on Beckett and then falls into a deep, restful sleep. When he wakes, she's gone. But the memory of Beckett asleep in his room, in her pajamas, is enough that he smiles and goes back to sleep.

* * *

Castle responds well to the treatment and is soon allowed to leave hospital, under the vigilant care of Martha and Alexis, who are still suffering mild pangs of guilt for leaving him alone when he was ill. He calls Beckett from his apartment and says, "Hey, detective; anyone dead?"

"Nope. They must be waiting for you again. You're home?"

"Yes. So, I'll see you tomorrow?"

There's a pause and then Beckett says, "Sure, Castle. Take one deep breath for me." Wincing at her acuity, Castle does his best, but hasn't even taken a complete breath before it dissolves into a coughing fit and Beckett says, "When Drummond thinks you're ready for work, have Lisa call me." To lessen the blow, she says, "But you can cook me dinner tonight, if you wish?"

Castle knows that it's the best he can hope for, so he smiles and says, "Close enough. Thanks, Beckett. I'll see you then."

With time for writing and evenings with Beckett and his girls, Castle makes a complete recovery. On his return to the precinct, he finds that someone, presumably Ryan and Esposito, has collected seemingly countless toy birds and hung them from the ceiling in the bullpen. His suspicions are confirmed when the guys are at their desks, grinning like idiots and Castle says, "Nice." He soon finds that the birds are exactly at head height for him and says, "This is gonna drive me crazy."

Esposito is still grinning as he says, "We figured that you need practice dodging them."

Ryan gets up to greet Castle as he says, "If you want a challenge, we can start them swinging for you."

Before the day is out, Castle and some of the taller detectives are ripping the toy birds from the ceiling. With no murder call, the captain lets everyone go home early. When Beckett stops her car outside Castle's apartment, but doesn't park, he knows that their evenings together are over and he says, "You're not coming in."

Though it wasn't a question, Beckett feels that he deserves an explanation and says, "No. I just…it doesn't seem fair to Josh, if you and I get that domestic."

Having passed a battery of tests, Castle knows that the sudden tightness in his chest has nothing to do with pneumonia, but he only says, "Sure, I understand." When she appears doubtful, he says, "Really, I do. You're simply incapable of doing the wrong thing." And then he grins and says, "But I'm still holding out hope that you have a touch of evil somewhere inside you."

Beckett smiles and says, "The Orson Welles movie, or the Judas Priest song?"

Castle's eyes widen slightly in delight and then he says, "Well, both are good, but I think the song, definitely the song. I'm not really into Metal, but those lyrics…wow."

Beckett nods and then says, "But what was with that video? Was that kid supposed to be evil, or innocent?"

It suddenly occurs to Castle that Beckett is stalling and the pain in his chest eases when he realizes that she's just as reluctant as he is for things to get back to normal, so he says, "I have no idea. And I've heard everything from drugs to politics as an explanation for the lyrics." And then he grins again and says, "But I've always assumed it was about sex."

Beckett laughs and says, "Well, you would."

Castle raises one eyebrow and says, "You didn't?"

"Oh, no, it's about sex alright."

Castle smiles and says, "That's my girl." It's one step too far and Castle silently curses himself when Beckett goes quiet and then he says, "Metaphorically speaking, of course."

It's such a ridiculous thing to say that Beckett is able to smile again and she says, "I'm glad you're back at work. Night, Castle."

His hand on the door, Castle says, "Night, Kate."

* * *

It's been weeks since Castle's bout of pneumonia and things have pretty much returned to normal at the precinct. Beckett is giving Castle a ride home when he says, "You got a minute to come up to the apartment? There's something I want to show you." Before she has time for a cheeky response, he says, "Not that."

Beckett smiles and says, "Sure, Castle."

Martha and Alexis are preparing dinner and warmly greet them. Martha says to Castle, "Movie night?"

Beckett's curiosity is aflame when Castle says, "Yeah. I won't be long." And then he says to Beckett, "My office."

Once there, Castle motions to one of the armchairs while he picks up the TV remote. When she's comfortable, he clicks on the screen and presses play, to reveal video of a sonogram. Beckett glances at him, for confirmation that it's his and Clair's baby she's looking at, but his smile is answer enough. She returns her attention to the screen. A cursor moves across the screen as an unfamiliar female voice cheerfully says, "Here you can see a leg, another leg and there's a third leg right there."

Beckett is still processing the words when Clair's voice breathes, "A boy."

Beckett glances at Castle again, but his attention is consumed by the screen and she wonders how many times he's already watched it. After a couple of minutes, Castle closes the screen and says, "That's it. There's more from Clair, but no more of…"

When he doesn't continue and looks a little shell-shocked, Beckett gently says, "Your son."

As if waking from a dream, Castle looks at her and says, "Yeah."

A little in shock herself, even though she knew this day was coming, Beckett says, "And he's okay?"

Finally recovered, Castle's smile is pure sunshine when he says, "He's perfect."

For once forgetting to be afraid, Beckett stands and readily embraces Castle, reaching her arms up over his shoulders and resting her cheek against his. After only a moment's hesitation, he wraps his arms around her waist and clings to her as if the contact can somehow make up for him being a continent away from his son and, ultimately, it does. It's Castle who eventually ends the hug and says, with obvious sincerity, "Thanks. I needed that."

With a quiet smile, Beckett says, "Well, I won't say _any time_, but you're welcome, Castle." And then she says, "You're not going?"

With a deep sigh, Castle says, "No. Every time I visit puts them in danger." And then he shakes his head to clear the melancholia and says, "We're celebrating tonight. I'll understand if you'd rather not, but you're welcome to join us…non-alcoholic bubbly is available."

Only now realizing that even being enfolded in his arms and enveloped by his comforting scent did not invoke the usual panic, Beckett suddenly understands that her trust for Castle is beginning to eclipse her fear of him. So she smiles and says, "Thanks. I'd love to."

Lanie is on duty when the call comes in. She arrives at the scene as CSU are finishing. She's waiting her turn when one of the techs moves aside and Lanie recognizes the victim; Mike Royce. Stunned, she moves closer to make sure and then immediately calls the captain. Given the identity of the victim, Montgomery makes the decision not to call Beckett. Of course, it's all for naught, because she finds out anyway. So Montgomery is glad that he thought to call Castle before heading to the scene. Disappointed, but not surprised that Beckett ignores his suggestion she stand down, Montgomery steps aside and gives her access to the body.

Beckett doesn't let Castle's concern stop her either, though she can feel his constant attention and senses that he's watching for any sign that she's not coping. Lanie's compassion is almost a living thing, but not even that is enough to unlock Beckett's grief. Because, what none of them can possibly know, is that Royce has been effectively dead to her since he betrayed her all those months ago. Now, all she feels is numb; a hollow emptiness that is far removed from tears. Still, he was her friend…and more, so she says her goodbyes and then focusses on finding his killer.

With all of the team making the case a priority, it's not long before Beckett and Castle come to Montgomery with a suspect. Montgomery knows only too well that, if Beckett goes to L.A., she won't hesitate to put herself in danger to catch Royce's killer. So he tries everything short of arresting her, to keep her from the case. But, when she demands her vacation days, he knows that he's failed. This time he doesn't have to order Castle to watch her; a look is enough. Castle glances after Beckett, nods at the captain and then follows his partner.

Lying to the captain hurt more than seeing Royce's body. But Beckett knows that he'd be forced to keep her from her goal. Even as she's grabbing her jacket, she realizes that she can't let Castle accompany her without putting him in danger. Somehow, lying to him hurts most of all, but she does it well and he doesn't follow her.

Once at her apartment, Beckett pauses only long enough to let Josh know that she'll be out of town on a case, before arranging a flight and packing for L.A. Thankfully, she's able to get a seat on short notice. Unfortunately, she's sitting next to a man big enough to be a contender for the World Heavyweight Pro-Wrestling Title. She's still trying to work out how to get any armrest space when what can only be the man's opponent sits on her left and Beckett gives up any hope of being able to relax on this flight. When the attendant lets her know that she's been upgraded, Beckett is so relieved that she doesn't think to question her good fortune. Still, somehow she's not surprised to see Castle waiting for her, champagne already in hand.

At first angry at Castle's audacity, Beckett quickly realizes that there's simply no way she'll get rid of him. So she soon relaxes enough to enjoy first class and, after an almost sleepless night, finally manages to get some sleep and it seems like no time at all before they arrive at LAX. Beckett is heading for a cab when Castle says, "This way, Beckett. I've rented a car."

Beckett realizes that, while they're in L.A., a rental is a good idea, so she shrugs and follows him. Of course, being Castle, he's rented a pristine Ferrari California and she says, "They don't normally have a car like this at the airport, do they?"

Smug grin firmly in place, Castle says, "Nope."

Her eyes narrowing, Beckett says, "Exactly how soon after I left the precinct did you start setting this up?"

Not in the least apologetic, Castle says, "I doubt you'd actually left the building before I started making phone calls." And then he grins and says, "You must have known it would take more than that to get rid of me."

Trying to conceal a smile, Beckett says, "I guess so." And then, because he's only here for her, says, "Thanks, Castle."

Given that, only about a month ago, she confessed her attraction for Castle, Beckett is reluctant to risk sharing a two-bedroom suite this time, but she chooses trust once again. Though one look at the gaudy suite, clearly designed for seduction, confirms that she was right to be worried. Even though she believes Castle's explanation for the roses, champagne and massage appointment, Beckett can't resist teasing him. But then she leaves the suite, intent on the hunt, confident that he'll follow.

Despite both being awestruck at meeting Gene Simmons, they get a lead, Violet Young, and head for Zenith Studios. After recovering from the shock of seeing the actors playing characters inspired by Ryan and Esposito, they follow the next breadcrumb to Violet's home. On the way Beckett gets a call from Esposito and he says, "Hey, boss. How's Castle?"

Shocked, Beckett says, "You knew?"

"Of course. You don't really think he could access passenger lists without me, do you?"

"I wasn't sure. You know you're in trouble, right?"

"Yeah, I know. But you'll forgive me."

Not yet willing to let him off the hook, Beckett says, "So, you called to piss me off?"

"Uh, no, boss. I called because the…uh, bullets taken from Royce's body are dissolving."

Wondering if she's misheard, Beckett says, "Did you say _dissolving_?"

"Dissolving; into some bubbly grey goop. Lanie was quick enough to get some photos, but they're basically useless."

Disappointed, Beckett says, "No ballistics."

"None, sorry."

"Not your fault. Lanie have any idea how bullets might dissolve?"

"Not yet. But we're working on it."

"Ok, thanks." And then Beckett smiles and says, "But you're still in trouble."

After hanging up, she apprises Castle of this new development, just as they arrive outside Violet's apartment. Though the Ferrari fitted in just fine in Hollywood, it sticks out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood and, knowing what she plans to do if no one answers, Beckett is nervous as she approaches the door. She doesn't bother telling Castle to wait outside and protect himself from her criminal activities, because she knows that there's no point. She barely has time to find that the place is empty before Castle has discovered that Violet must be in New York, having travelled there with Royce. Beckett is beginning to wonder if they've wasted a trip when they finally find a new breadcrumb, just before they're apprehended by the LAPD.

The encounter with Kyle Seeger is professionally and personally embarrassing, but not nearly enough to sway Beckett from her course and she knows that Castle will stay with her. Now that Montgomery and the LAPD are onto her, Beckett is aware that she doesn't have much time and risks dragging Ryan into her mess. Of course, he doesn't hesitate to pledge his assistance and then puts Esposito on the phone. So Beckett finally has the face of the man who killed Mike Royce. Even as she hangs up the phone, Castle has found the name Charles Kelvin; lover of wine, corgis and surfing. It's a valuable lead, but the look Castle gives her is so insufferably smug that she says, "You know, one day your face is gonna freeze like that."

Not quite losing his air of superiority, Castle says, "If you'd just learn to say _thank you_, I wouldn't need to use this face."

Already getting out her phone to call Kelvin's office, Beckett smiles and says, "Thank you."

After learning that Charles Kelvin is at the beach indulging his love of surfing while there's still light, Beckett knows that their chance to interview him is fast disappearing. Castle catches her air of urgency, keys the address into the GPS and says, "Buckle up."

Despite the seriousness of their mission, Beckett is almost undone by the ease with which Castle maneuvers the perfection that is a Ferrari through the traffic. Her efforts to remain detached are not helped by the fact that Castle appears oblivious of just how good he looks; Ray Bans firmly in place and his hair tousled by the breeze, as if he and the prestige car are made for each other. Thankfully, he's way too focused on his task to notice her fervor and Beckett eventually gets her breathing under control by keeping her eyes fixed straight ahead. Still, his efforts deserve a reward and, as they hurriedly exit the car while looking for Kelvin, she says, "Nice driving."

She feels Castle's surprised glance and is grateful when he doesn't gloat. They soon find Kelvin and it's after dark by the time they end up at Kelvin North America to finally find out just how much trouble Violet Young has gotten herself into.

Back at their suite, Beckett and Castle make use of room service for dinner, including a clean, crisp Chablis. As usual, Castle is weaving a tale around their current mystery and Beckett feels herself relaxing for the first time since finding out that Royce had been murdered. A little buzzed from the wine, and with Castle for once looking too casual to adorn a magazine cover, Beckett is lulled by a feeling of comfort and security into reminiscing about Royce. When Castle starts talking, she doesn't immediately sense the peril and blindly takes one step too many when she says, "You're not so bad yourself, Castle."

Suddenly, the atmosphere is anything but comfortable as Castle's longing for her is clearly written on his face, in the softness of his gaze and the slight parting of his lips as his breath quickens. Only then does Beckett realize that his sudden desire is in reaction to something he's seen in _her_ eyes, because she'd just been thinking how grateful she is to have a man like Castle in her life; a man ready to do anything for her, who would never hurt her, never leave her and would willingly die for her. So Beckett knows that she has to get away from him, before her brain ambushes her again and convinces her to close the suddenly tiny distance between them.

Castle makes no move to stop her and Beckett knows absolutely that he won't breach the sanctity of her bedroom, so she retreats there. As she's shutting the door, he says her name and, though it sounds like a question, she knows that it's also a promise that nothing will happen unless she wishes it. Of course, that's exactly the problem, because she suddenly wishes it very much. When she says goodnight, Castle looks so utterly dejected that she hesitates, but only for a moment. Once through the door, Beckett lets her body react and gasps at how close she came to throwing away all her reasons not to be with Castle, and destroying everything that she has with Josh. But, even in that thought, she's picturing Castle's wounded expression and knows that he's on the other side of the door, waiting…always waiting.

After what seems like an eternity, but can only be seconds, Beckett has convinced herself that Castle deserves an explanation and she opens the door, only to see that Castle finally got tired of waiting. It's then that she realizes her brain has turned on her yet again, because there's no knowing what would have happened if she'd put herself back in a situation where her body can't help but react to his presence. So she gently closes the door again and shakes her head at her own folly. She's still shaking her head several minutes later as she gets into bed, so it's quite a while before she's able to fall into a fitful sleep.

Beckett wakes up far too early. Rather than think about what almost happened between her and Castle last night, she gets straight to work. But it's difficult to keep it all in her head without a murder board. However, one call to the concierge fixes that and she's almost finished when Castle emerges from his room. Thankfully, he sticks to his promise not to pressure her and appears content to focus on the case. Beckett isn't very surprised when Detective Seeger knocks on their door. And somehow she knows that he's also not surprised to have found out that Beckett and Castle ignored his warning. But he dutifully warns them yet again. Despite his caution against keeping Seeger out of the loop, Castle doesn't hesitate to help trick Reggie Walsh and, after a call to the guys, they finally know Royce's killer; Russell Ganz.

Despite having already witnessed Maurice's efficiency, Beckett is doubtful when Castle suggests that the obliging concierge's contacts might be the quickest way to find Ganz. Thrilled to be proven wrong, Beckett doesn't bother concealing her delight from Castle. She quickly formulates a plan, again ignoring Castle's request that they contact Seeger. Of course, when he sees that the plan involves her swimsuit, he completely forgets about the LAPD. He's still standing in slack-jawed surprise when she moves towards him, skimpy swimsuit in hand, and gently pushes his chest until he takes a step back, then she shuts the door in his face. She jumps in fright when he knocks once, but then realizes it must be his forehead when he says, in apparent pain, "Beckett, you're killing me!" At first worried that she's quite literally pushed him one step too far, Beckett is reassured when she hears him chuckle and then walk away.

* * *

With Castle as her only backup, and seduction as her only weapon, Beckett gets her nerves under control and skillfully attracts their target's attention. But he's not going for it and then she spies Castle heading into the cabana. Knowing the ruthless nature of the man they're dealing with, she can't risk him spotting Castle, so she panics and is busted. Thankfully, Ganz is too professional to do anything about it in such a public setting. And Beckett is left with only fury that Castle's constant need to meddle almost made him the target of a cold-blooded killer. But all is forgiven when she finds out that he snapped a photo of Ganz's call list and, this time, she listens when he suggests that they call Seeger.

Seeger is, understandably, not happy to be summoned. But he's already decided that he has much more chance of solving the case with Beckett's help and, once he's made his feelings known, gets down to business. Beckett has no way of knowing that, just as she calls Mannis' cell, he's about to open fire on Violet Young and the guys. So she's shocked to hear Esposito's voice. Beckett is uncomfortable when it sounds suspiciously like Esposito tortures Mannis for information. But she only files it away to discuss with him later, because they finally have a chance to capture Ganz and stop the sale of the ammunition.

As Castle drives to Santa Monica Pier, Beckett is checking the sidearm Seeger gave her while she remembers Royce and how he looked, lying in that alley when Castle says, "You're not planning to go all Dirty Harry on me, are you?"

Not very surprised that he's apparently read her mind, Beckett considers for a moment and then trusts him enough to let her hatred for Ganz into her voice as she says, "He shot him down like a _dog_, Castle, and then left his body behind a dumpster."

He glances at her, trying to gauge her intentions and then says, "Yes, and he'll pay for that mistake, but not today. Today we simply help apprehend him and then leave him in Seeger's capable hands."

A little surprised at being ordered, Beckett nevertheless knows that he's right. So, with one deep, shuddering breath, she puts the image of Royce's face to the back of her mind and then smiles and says, "Yes, sir." Castle only smiles in response and focuses on following the squad cars to the scene. After a few seconds of silence, she says, "Thanks, Castle."

Once at the pier, everyone spreads out, until one of the Uniforms spots the odd man out; a heavily muscled Chinese man, covered in gang tattoos and carrying a briefcase. Under Seeger's direction, they expertly close on the man's location and apprehend him. Beckett quickly realizes that the suspect must have been heading for a nearby white van and warily approaches the driver's side, eager for a chance to capture Ganz. However the driver gives her nothing, so she leaves him with a nearby police officer and continues her search.

Suddenly, she smells something familiar from her poolside encounter with Ganz and spots the cigar, moments before she sees him, walking purposefully away from the scene. Beckett knows who he is and what he's capable of, so she gradually closes the distance between them, minimizing the chance of collateral damage in such a crowded place. Her instincts warn her that she's been made, moments before he makes a run for it. So that she's right behind him as he jumps down to the sand and runs under the pier. Finally able to get a clear shot, Beckett pauses and deliberately shoots him in the leg. When he immediately collapses, she knows that the bullet has shattered the bone, just as it happened to Royce.

Ganz doesn't appear to be armed, but Beckett keeps her sidearm trained on him and makes sure that he knows who she is and why she's here. Almost without her knowledge, his smug taunts move her index finger to the trigger. But then she notices that he looks truly terrified and yet does nothing to stop her. And she suddenly understands that Russell Ganz fears life in prison more than he fears death. So she smiles and removes her finger from the trigger, just before Castle calls her name.

After taking the pleasure of informing Ganz that he's under arrest, Beckett walks away, already shutting him out of her mind. When Castle asks if she's okay, she hesitates a moment and then realizes that she really is going to be all right, so she says, "Yeah." And sees confirmation in his answering smile.

They're quiet on the way back to the suite. Once inside, Castle says, "How 'bout you get cleaned up and pack while I book our flight?"

Marveling yet again at his ability to apparently read her mind, she smiles and says, "That'd be great. Thanks, Castle."

After a shower long enough and hot enough to wash Ganz from her life, Beckett puts on a fresh outfit and packs her bag. By then Seeger arrives to offer a warm goodbye. When he's gone, Castle asks how close she came to killing Royce and Beckett smiles a little at the fact that he obviously knows she wanted to kill Ganz, and yet doesn't seem to mind. Not even nearly ready to see that particular detail appear in one of his books, she says only, "Let's go home, Castle."

With so much on her mind, Beckett is quiet as they head to the car. They're approaching the Ferrari when Castle says, "Heads up." Beckett heeds his warning just in time to catch the car keys and Castle says, "We've got some time."

It's only then that Beckett realizes a spin in the Ferrari is exactly what she needs. So she offers Castle one of her brightest smiles and echoes his words from earlier when she says, "Buckle up."

An hour later, her need for speed satisfied, Beckett returns the Ferrari to the airport where she and Castle just make their flight, albeit a little out of breath. As they quickly find their seats and finally relax, Castle grins and says, "Better?"

With another brilliant smile, Beckett says, "Much. Thank you." And then she can't quite look at him as she says, "Thanks, for following me and generally making a nuisance of yourself, Castle."

Despite her words, Castle recognizes it as sincere gratitude and he says, "Any time, detective." They're quiet for a while and then Castle nervously licks his lips before he says, "Want to talk about last night?"

Beckett is quiet for a second and then says, "No." Unsurprised, Castle is nodding his understanding when she looks at him and says, "But I will, if you want to. What would you like to know?"

Shocked at her compliance, Castle stares at her, mouth agape for a second and then says, "Uh; hadn't thought that far ahead. I guess that I'd like to know…" And then he laughs and says, "Actually, Beckett, I'm pretty sure I understand exactly what happened."

Catching his jovial mood, Beckett smiles and says, "Then maybe you could explain it to me sometime."

Now serious, Castle gently says, "Oh, I'm pretty sure you understand it, too."

And, because he deserves the truth, Beckett says, "Yes." Suddenly concerned that their friendship has been damaged, she says, "Are we okay?"

A grin splits his face and Castle says, "One day you'll believe me, Beckett; we're excellent."

Unable to keep from smiling when faced with his indomitable optimism, she says, "Thanks, Castle."

Satisfied that everything is fine between them, Castle says, "Well, thanks to you _not_ seducing me last night, I didn't get much sleep. So, if you don't mind?"

A little in shock at him putting it so bluntly, Beckett stammers, "Uh, no….no, that's fine. Get some sleep, Castle."

Smiling a little at her discomfit, Castle puts the pillow behind his head, reclines his chair and is asleep within minutes. When she's sure that he's asleep, Beckett reads Royce's letter again, including the part about her and Castle. And she's reminded of her Dad's advice that nothing perfect can be real. She glances at Castle then, to see that he's shifted a little in his sleep and is facing away from her. It's rare that she's actually able to really look at him, without risking him using it against her. So she indulges a whim and studies the line of his jaw, the nape of his neck and the reassuring rise and fall of his chest as he sleeps. And she thinks how incredibly easy it would be to just forget all the reasons not to choose Castle. But she's never been one to take the easy path. So she folds the letter, turning it in her hands for a moment, wishing that she had more of Royce than these two sheets of paper. And then returns the letter to her pocket and eventually finds sleep.

The End


End file.
